An Idea Perhaps

As Saturday is looming on the near horizon, with it the start of NaNoWriMo, I have been thinking I may share some excerpts of the novel I’ll be writing each week. Perhaps. It’s not certain yet, and I know it wouldn’t take me long to post, alas there are also Yule gifts for me to knit, and Elder Scrolls Online for me to play.

Thankfully, I got the game last weekend, so I’ve had a week of an enormous amount of playing, and am starting to wind down a bit on the hours spent in game. I suppose I’m also having a last hurrah of not doing so much before next month comes along. There’s just something about Elder Scrolls though, such great story telling mixed with adventuring, or collecting herbs and materials to make things. It’s definitely something for me to do in the winter months where I will no longer really want to be outside for long or often. Especially if this winter proves to be alike to last year’s!

Since having spent four winters away from regular Canadian winters (Vancouver, you are so strange this way, and lovely), I have a feeling it will be interesting to get used to the entirety of it again. I have noticed that in the spring and this fall, I have experienced a week or two of headaches, which I have assumed is the change in barometric pressure, which I never remember experiencing before, so I guess I just have to continue getting used to the harsher weather changes.

Anywho, seeing as this has been a rambling post, I’ll send it out in the world now with this: next month will be deliciously exciting and frustrating. (All the more exciting for working through the frustration).

Just Be

Just to mark this down to remember it, to let it sink in. Something that has been Said over and over to me when I ask whatever it is I “should” be doing….

“Just be”

That’s it. There’s nothing else other than encouragement for the things I already pursue, and pursue them with the knowledge that the Gods want to be read about, heard about, Their stories made to inspire weather in story or song, to become more and more prevalent in the world. Otherwise, whatever I’m doing now is where I’m supposed to be.

I have a terrible habit of trying to overachieve (only in the things I really love), however in the past couple of years, that has been a hard thing to do, especially when it involves other human people. I often say I would do something, only to not do it. There is usually one big reason why things don’t happen. Home. That is where I usually always want to be, wherever it may be. And when I go out, I don’t want many people around me. Looking in, judging, offering unsolicited comments or advice. That is reserved for people I love.

It has also occurred to me that in not doing things I said I would do, I needed to say no to the things I am just no longer comfortable doing. Sometimes I think I’m selfish, however, I remember that despite making myself unavailable to a large amount of people, doing things that make me anxious or uncomfortable, I am still very much there for the few people I choose to be there for. There are a few I have lost touch with a bit, not of my own will, but sometimes life just happens and things are harder to do from far away than they are when you’re minutes away. That given, I would also still do what I need to for them even with the distance.

It seems very strange to me now that I wanted to be famous (though I think we all do when we are young). I love being onstage, even to this day I would have no problem going up. I would just rather skip all the small talk afterwards. At least with working with other musicians, we can really talk about the nitty gritty of the music, of our parts. But people in general, acquaintances, just don’t interest me.

I’m a hermit, and that’s ok for now until it changes. Everything changes. I’m pursuing creative things, and really, most artists (of any sort) are reclusive. How could we produce things if we weren’t?
So here it is, Mia, you’re allowed to just be. Not only because you’ve been Told, but because it is normal. You are doing enough. You have planned enough to be busy for a good while. You are just gathering your resources to do what you have planned, and actually, things are already in motion. And sometimes, though you hate the uncertainty of things, and the not doing of things, you just need to take the time to reflect, to soak in what has happened, and allow things to move forward naturally. So just be.

Story Weaving Once More

So, the darkness has lifted quite a bit and I’m excited and engaged in things again. If you’ve seen anything from me on Twitter in the last week, you’ll know I’m preparing to give NaNoWriMo another whirl this year (that’s National Novel Writing Month, for those of you who don’t know about it yet).

I’ve spent the last week employing the Snowflake method, albeit a slightly abbreviated version of it, to pre-plan my novel this year. Last year’s was a write by the seat of my pants go, and while I really enjoyed doing it that way, just allowing things to unfold from the pits of my mind, I did end up planning things out as I went along anyway. So I figured I’d try it with a plan in place this time, although it’s not going to be super rigid and allows me some flexibility to play around with some things.

So today, I’ve been making a list of the scenes I’d like to write, and by doing that, I’ve discovered something else that will be unfolding within the story, which I am very happy about. I have to say, how this one is developing, I’m really quite excited to just read the story as I write it. I want to know what is going to happen, I want to see the relationships develop, I want to see how these characters are going to struggle and learn. I just want to know the story already!

I’ll divulge a little and tell you that it’s kind of a blend of fantasy, alternate history, and romance. Gods are involved, and I’ve already got some expansion into more than one pantheon in mind for a subsequent novel. I’m even thinking it may turn into a trilogy, you know, because that’s just what you do, and I can already see where I can take the essential story and expand into a greater and greater view of the world.

Needless to say, I’m anxiously awaiting November to begin so I can dive right into the deep end. I’m also upping the word count I’d like to achieve this year. Last year I did the standard 50,000, and this year, I’d like to up it to 60,000. We shall see what becomes of it!

Wading Through

I’ve been quiet lately, yes I have. And that doesn’t just include posting things here in my little bit of webspace. Late in August, I was hit with a very big wave of depression. It seems to come when summer comes closer to its end, like clockwork, for the last three years anyway. Before then, I believe I can say other than having the occasional blue day, I hadn’t really had much depression since I was a baby teenager.

Last year’s bout lasted until March, the year before that was a long one, but it was partially because of a something that happened to me. I was very scared of death, constantly seeing my own in every situation I would be in, and I didn’t trust myself very much. Which has kind of carried over in the subsequent years, though I am no longer very scared, just more accepting of whatever  happens will happen. That I have very little control over anything that could occur to take me from this mortal life. It’s an interesting place to be, and a large part of the reason why I cocoon so much.

The other thing it has done is make it very hard for me to keep the connections to people alive and well. Although I will put the caveat that that is not totally up to one side of the equation, it’s for both to keep it thriving. However, like I said, I am very much cocooned, physically as well as socially. For a little while, the only person I could stand and actually smile with a few weeks ago was the Man. I had no patience for anyone else, without any particular reason. I would find myself being short, and not paying attention to what anyone said, and getting angry without reason when people would talk with me. I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to be alone.

I will say that the not paying attention also has something to do with the fact that just for the past year, I’ve had quite a bit of trouble with focus and memory. The spring and summer saw an improvement to that, but it all went backward when the wave crashed in on me. All I can hear is my own thoughts, like I have no control anymore over how well I hear the things that happen outside my head. I don’t even notice it’s happening too until someone has said the bulk of what they want to talk to me about. It’s frustrating, to be sure, but in the past few weeks, after I stopped allowing myself to feel sorry for myself, I’ve been working through it, contemplating and reflecting on what’s going on for me, who I am now.

I wrote a while ago about being in a resting period from music, and it seems like I’m being forced into a resting period from trying to be everything else that I could possibly be (I’m ever changing after being so sure of what I was going to do with my life for the bulk of my years). I’m being pushed into being the Hermit, and I don’t want to squander or lengthen this opportunity to really just sit with myself and figure some stuff out, to work out some things that have been boiling under the surface.

Sometimes it felt like I was going a bit crazy. But that has only persuaded me to really pay attention to what’s going on in my head, to examine even more closely than I did before the thoughts I would have, the impulses and very reactionary without forethought sort of place I was and sometimes am in.

 

So I’m posting this here for myself, to place a marker for the point I am at right now. A lot has changed for me in the past few years. While I don’t really mind the depression, this is not a place I would like to stay forever. Or even for very much longer. Each day is a little better, but I know there will be times when I go right back down, and I’m just going to take that as a sign for myself to stop. To nurture myself. To be quiet. To be still. To contemplate and reflect. It seems to be a repetitive occurrence when I become blue, that shortly after I start paying attention to the thoughts that float by, really and truly listen to them, figuring my shit out, I come back out, slowly, but every so surely. I just have to listen. I just have to take the time to wade through the wounds that accumulate. I just need to let myself heal once the wounds have been cleansed.

Month of the Ivy

Ivy - by Vulkan

Ivy – by Vulkan

Dates:
September 30 – October 27

Latin Name: 
Hedera

Celtic Name:
Gort

Folk Names:
Bindwood, lovestone

Hedera helix (English Ivy) - Prof. Dr. Otto Wilhelm Thome; Flora von Deutschland, 1885

Hedera helix (English Ivy) – Prof. Dr. Otto Wilhelm Thome; Flora von Deutschland, 1885

Parts Used:
Berries, leaves

Medicinal Uses:
A drachm of the flowers which has been decocted in wine is said to keep dysentery in check.

The yellow berries are said to be good for those who spit up blood, as well as against jaundice.

According to Culpepper, ivy for nerves and sinews should be used externally, never internally.

The tender twigs used to make a salve will aid in healing sunburn.

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Associations:
Dionysus, Kissos, Zeus, Jupiter, Sun, blue, yellow serpentine, resurrection, positive strength of the ego, sacred to Osiris and Saturn.

Magical Uses:
It is carried by women (especially brides) for good luck. It’s also used in charms for fidelity and love.

Wherever you grow it, or wherever it grows naturally, it guards and protects the area from negativity and disaster. However, if the ivy should die and fall off (be especially wary if it is your house), it is said that misfortune is sure to come your way.

Because ivy naturally spirals as it grows longer, it is connected with cycles, resurrection, rebirth. It also seeks light and food sources through many obstacles, associating it with strength.

It has many magical uses such as the general protection, healing, exorcism, and cooperation.

On New Year’s Eve, if you place a leaf in water, and it is still fresh on Twelfth Night (January 5th), the coming year would unfold favourably for you. For the Yuletide season, holly and ivy together make for traditional and beautiful decorations.

Crowns made of holly and ivy are worn by a couple who are handfasting. A crown of just ivy was worn by poets as it is thought that ivy brings divine inspiration. The Greeks in Corinth would also make victory crowns of ivy for those who won at the games held in the city.

Names Don’t Matter, or: what to do when your god pokes around with your identity by poking around with His own

Miaërowyn:

I can’t even express how much this post is so much yes. Thank you, Jo!

Originally posted on Strip Me Back To The Bone:

A young girl is on her hands and knees at the water’s edge, keening into the sea. There is no other word for the sounds coming from her, the sounds of a spirit bound too tightly slipping its cage and splintering from the force of it. She feels herself shattering, and no amount of trying to hold on will stop the process. She is beyond fear, beyond worry, beyond hope. She has given over to this moment, and she is caught up in fury, in desolation, in these big, crushing waves of emotions that are too big, too wild, to be held back. Her spirit has tasted freedom and it will not return to its meager existence. Her spirit knows the depth and beauty of the worlds, and it calls out for rescue.

He comes clad in moonlight and darkness, in denim and leather, in flesh, bone, and magic. The…

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Happy Autumn, everyone! (two ebooks and a flash sale at FiberWytch)

Miaërowyn:

Just placed my order… Go check out Beth’s sale!

Originally posted on Wytch of the North:

To celebrate the Equinox (and my birthday, which is on the 22nd), I’ve added both of my devotionals written for Odin (Odhroeir: Nine Devotional Tales of Odin’s Journeys and Water from the Well and Other Wyrd Tales of Odin) as PDF Ebooks in my Etsy shop! For only $5, you can download either one of them and begin reading it right away!  I have plans to begin offering more ebooks in the shop going forward (most of them probably a lot shorter!) as I’m able to produce them.

Also, I’ve decided to have a flash sale! Take 25% off your order by entering the coupon code SEPTEMBER at checkout.  The minimum purchase is $30, which you can easily achieve by buying one of my new Samhain cords and an ebook, or a rune/Tarot/Lenormand reading and an ebook.  The sale ends at midnight on September 24, so hurry! If…

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Full Moon Shenanigans

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It’s the Vine Moon, and I am working with some grapevines tonight for some nefarious deeds. Ok… not so nefarious, but some thing for which I would like a little magical boost for.

So I sang in offering to the grapevine in my backyard after asking for some of itself, had an interesting interaction with it, and took what I was allowed. It was pretty enchanted as the sun was behind the pine the grapevine is growing up on, and the sun was filtering golden light to dance across my eyes as the rest of the world seemed not to exist for a few seconds. I love moments like those.

I hope your Full Moon is fruitful and the Moon, Gods, and Spirits enjoy your worship, watch over and aid in your magic, and bestow Their blessings upon you.

PBP – Norse Runes Raidho

Raidho - Unknown artist, if you know who created this, please let me know

Raidho – Unknown artist, if you know who created this, please let me know

Raidho
“Rye-though”

Translation
Literally: Ride, or Wagon
Associated: Journey

Meaning
This rune is all about moving forward, moving to the places in life where you are meant to be. It can literally mean a change of physical location, but also a change of lifestyle, of taking action and control over your current situations. Raidho is about being in the moment and being accountable to it, being completely present in it in order to guide it to where you need to be. Leave the heavy baggage that is fear of the future, and weariness of past experiences in order to move forward more effectively.

Actions speak louder than words, and it’s time to take on your role as the leader of your life, whilst also remaining aware of the grander picture (how you effect those around you).

Follow your heart, follow your intuition, move with the world’s rhythm. Pay attention to what pulls you forward in your daily life, there is a compass within us all that points us in the direction we’re meant to go in. When you realize what direction you’re meant to continue on in, don’t hesitate to start moving towards it.

Merkstave (Reversed)
Stasis, stagnation. There is no movement now. It could be a time of crisis, halting you in your tracks. There could also be a need to over control everything, enabling hypocrisy and injustice for yourself and others.

Thus Ranted Dionysos

Originally posted on Magick From Scratch:

So, for those of you who, like me, found the “bro” type language employed by Dionysos in that particular channel (which, curiously, faded as I drank more… he actually seemed to become more articulate), difficult to parse, I’d like to pull out and deconstruct what I feel were actually extremely important concepts.

The insights here, I want to immediately clarify, are really meant as a response to questions about initiation and mysteries being raised in the broader devotional polytheism community. They are not meant as a commentary about specific traditions, though I do draw on my own initiatory experiences when putting my thoughts together. 

1. “You guys are doing it wrong.” — Initiations that make us miserable.

I don’t think everyone is doing it wrong. I do think the way our community-talk frames initiation as a concept probably needs deconstructed. Let me explain why. 

I want you to take ten…

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