Ha, I just realized my title is akin to the Supernatural season finale/premiere title. Now I will proceed to sing “Carry on Wayward Son” by Kansas for the rest of the day. You’re welcome if I got that awesome song stuck in your head too 😉
In the spirit of sharing about the Gods I work with, I will speak a bit of how things are developing with Baldr. I want to share because writing these posts are always good for self reflection. I know I could write for myself in a journal, which I do anyway, but writing for an audience always requires for decent explanations that bring not only understanding to the reader, but to me again as well. Not all the things can be kept fresh and poignant in one’s mind after time has passed.
So, I haven’t really talked about Him much to anyone. It is still pretty new, but It’s amazing I’m coming right out of the gate and putting this up, in public even! Bear with me as I deal with my shock at myself! :O
Now, forgive me for perhaps becoming shy about discussing it, like I said in last week’s The Pagan Experience post about Who I work with, sharing the Who is a bit difficult for me, especially here on the interwebs since this place is known to have many trolls and assholes in general.
I ended up having a few readings done (well, the first one is how I found out Who was hanging around). The readings have said that magick was coming for me this year, as well as Baldr. And so far, that has held very true, which is what I want to discuss with you today, dear gentle reader!
The first thing that has come from this is regular divining on my part. Baldr has come through very clearly with my tarot cards. Communicating with Him has been quite unlike any attempt at communication I’ve had before. I’ve also done readings for myself for some things, and again, what comes back has been unlike any attempt at reading for myself I’ve done before. The only thing that ever seemed to be truly accurate was my new year readings I’ve done for each month of the year for the past I don’t know how many years. Other than that, I would get myself in those silly read and reread, and get ridiculous cards that just don’t make sense to me. Reading for yourself is just, sometimes you’re simply too close to see the big picture clearly (and that’s not just in divination).
Needless to say, if ever I had doubts about how people can be in contact with their Gods and Spirits, they’ve been thrown out the window. Of a very tall tower. Atop a cliff that drops hundreds of feet to the ocean.
Right now, this is what w/We’ve got for communicating because, for lack of a better analogy, I’m not quite wired up right, yet. I also feel like w/We are both going slowly about this. While of course I sometimes become impatient, I usually quickly remind myself that I also kind of want to relish this. I don’t want it all to happen in the blink of an eye. I want to learn, to really grasp what I’m doing, I want a solid foundation in this, not only o/Our relationship, but what I’ve been learning, and what I have yet to learn. I want to really know Him, I want that to develop naturally. There isn’t a rush on either end of this thing.
What has also come about is some interesting dream things. Not dream work or dream travelling, yet. Those things are to come, but for now, He’s asked me to begin a simple practice every night. I light a candle in my dark room, and breath Him in for a few minutes. Very simple. Right up my alley. Part of this practice came about because I was experiencing some really nasty dreams (not nightmares, but non-consensual sex things). I was already breathing in cleansing breath before bed anyway to clear out all the day’s thoughts for me to be able to fall asleep better. He suggested adding His own energy as an element to this practice.
Well, guess what? No more icky dreams. However, my dreams are different since I began doing this. Very different indeed. The feel of them is, I don’t know, more immanent? I’ve always been a vivid dreamer, I remember dreams I’ve had as a child all the way through to now. I’ve also been able to control dreams when they became not so nice for a very long time (I even remember the first dream I did this in, I believe I was five; there was a mustard incident in-dream, and I wanted to clean it badly enough that I made myself do that in-dream).
But back to my dreams right now, I don’t know. They’re just different. They’ve even shown some things that I don’t feel are visions of the future, but like a path the future could take me on, I guess? What I do understand and undoubtedly feel to my very bones is that I’m protected. Even though the dreams have seemed to be in a twilight, and interesting dark things sometimes happen, I’m not ever in danger.
I’m sure I’ll find out what the dreamy time things are about in time, though. He’s let me know that they’re where I’ll be travelling with Him when the time comes. The wait now is for my nightly practice to establish itself firmly, and through that, letting Him in little by little. The course this is all taking seems planned out, which I can appreciate. I’m not a fan of not planning, I usually only like spontaneous things if I’m the instigator or if very few people are involved. It’s kind of nice that Someone else knows what the plan is, as adults, we rarely get led onto adventures, or have true surprises (a big reason why I hate knowing what people are gifting me beforehand), so I am enjoying everything as it comes, though I have a feeling that it won’t always be without stresses and tests.
Of course, I sometimes want things to happen quicker, to get to where I’ve been hinted to w/We’re going, and then I ask if there’s anything else I should be doing. Nope. Just keep on with what’s happening now. Gotta build that strong foundation. Can’t have your house crumbling down at the slightest tremble of the earth.
Well, dear gentle reader, that’s kind of where it stands (well, not as of now, because when this is posted, I’d have already written this a week early, who knows, I could edit it in the interim with some amazeballs thing, though I don’t quite think so :P). Stay tuned for the continuing adventures!