A Month for Baldr – 2 How

“How – How did you become involved with your devotional topic?”

I have already discussed this way back in January (where the Hel is this year going???!!!). So I won’t actually be addressing the How w/We got involved, but I will be talking about how our path together has been since January. (Seriously, first half of 2015, where did you go!!!)

So it’s been 5 months, I actually figured I’d have talked more about it, and yet, I know myself, and I know that I don’t enjoy talking about things that are very close and important to me until certain situations have passed so that I’m more detatched from the emotion of it all. It’s more a tactic to feel less vulnerable, I suppose.
Anyway, I want to start this off with the fact that I get in my own damn way. Yep. I was doing just fine talking with Him, mostly through tarot (though I did journey to Him a few times), and then for some silly reason or other, I decided that I “wasn’t ready” in some way, that I was to distance myself from Him. Don’t ask me why, I couldn’t even tell you. There was no actual reason between the two of u/Us, but my own feeling of being unfit, of having to wait till the right time (whenever the Hel that was supposed to be). This happened around Ostara, so for a few months, things had been more distant between u/Us for no actual legitimate reason.

Now, don’t worry, I’m not actually that down on myself about it, it happens, it’s human to feel inadequate, and it often hinders us from doing the things we ought to, or which would really benefit us.

So to sum that up, I’ve effectively been keeping u/Us from really building o/Our relationship up.

What has also happened is that I’ve been Told to stop using my Tarot to communicate, that I can hear Him and the rest of Them just fine. Yes, They allow for confirmation every once in a while, especially on the things that are important, but for the most part, I’m being pushed to rely on my spirit ears. This was made abundantly clear when conversations through the cards would be terribly contradictory and made absolutely no sense at all.

While I am enjoying that all I need is to listen to communicate with Him, at the same time, I still feel like I’m not ready for that, that I’m just talking to myself in my head. There’s a strange detatchment that comes about though when I do chat with Him, in that I am to take it for what it is. A system is coming into place to ensure that what I hear and see is not just my own mind going wild. I’ve got to say, I’m flabberghasted that it has all been so very clear. I’ve actually been working on a post about how I communicate with Them, which will hopefully be going up soon, so I will definitely elaborate more there on how I keep it all in check.

I have to say here too, even though this isn’t a Baldr thing (though He’s telling me He did have a hand in it), that I owe my gratitude to Thor for popping up a while ago. As I said in my post about Him showing up, it was all about DOING. Which has kind of become an awesome mantra. Just do the things. I have to say, I’ve been much happier for it, happier in a sense of accomplishment, and happier in a sense that I am also building up the connections with my Gods, as well as the magic that surrounds me. Obviously this also goes into the more mundane aspects of my life as well.

After all of the DOING, I also got a check in reading from Beth for Midsummer, and though I won’t go into detail, it just allowed me to see that I can’t be cutting myself off from Him anymore. Also, her readings are amazing ❤ ❤ ❤

Here I am now, doing, still even! And listening to Baldr. It’s been good. 🙂

Just Be

Just to mark this down to remember it, to let it sink in. Something that has been Said over and over to me when I ask whatever it is I “should” be doing….

“Just be”

That’s it. There’s nothing else other than encouragement for the things I already pursue, and pursue them with the knowledge that the Gods want to be read about, heard about, Their stories made to inspire weather in story or song, to become more and more prevalent in the world. Otherwise, whatever I’m doing now is where I’m supposed to be.

I have a terrible habit of trying to overachieve (only in the things I really love), however in the past couple of years, that has been a hard thing to do, especially when it involves other human people. I often say I would do something, only to not do it. There is usually one big reason why things don’t happen. Home. That is where I usually always want to be, wherever it may be. And when I go out, I don’t want many people around me. Looking in, judging, offering unsolicited comments or advice. That is reserved for people I love.

It has also occurred to me that in not doing things I said I would do, I needed to say no to the things I am just no longer comfortable doing. Sometimes I think I’m selfish, however, I remember that despite making myself unavailable to a large amount of people, doing things that make me anxious or uncomfortable, I am still very much there for the few people I choose to be there for. There are a few I have lost touch with a bit, not of my own will, but sometimes life just happens and things are harder to do from far away than they are when you’re minutes away. That given, I would also still do what I need to for them even with the distance.

It seems very strange to me now that I wanted to be famous (though I think we all do when we are young). I love being onstage, even to this day I would have no problem going up. I would just rather skip all the small talk afterwards. At least with working with other musicians, we can really talk about the nitty gritty of the music, of our parts. But people in general, acquaintances, just don’t interest me.

I’m a hermit, and that’s ok for now until it changes. Everything changes. I’m pursuing creative things, and really, most artists (of any sort) are reclusive. How could we produce things if we weren’t?
So here it is, Mia, you’re allowed to just be. Not only because you’ve been Told, but because it is normal. You are doing enough. You have planned enough to be busy for a good while. You are just gathering your resources to do what you have planned, and actually, things are already in motion. And sometimes, though you hate the uncertainty of things, and the not doing of things, you just need to take the time to reflect, to soak in what has happened, and allow things to move forward naturally. So just be.

PBP – It’s Been Four Years

I got a little popup on my blog’s dashboard today that said it has been four years since I started this blog. Wow. I’ve looked back through my posts a couple times over the years, to see where I’ve been and where I am now… I can see the transitions between the research loop that can happen when really starting out, I remember the books I was reading back then (struggling to get out of the 101, yet also reading some essential books that I’d never read before). I see where I began to focus my attentions, where I’ve been Guided.
I also see where I’ve lost interest in what others are doing and saying at the moment, instead being more interested in what’s happening for me, my Gods and Spirits. It seems that sentiment also ripples out into my everyday life that isn’t much concerned with the spiritual. I wouldn’t have it any other way because I do the things that I want without a thought of what countless other people think (who ultimately have no idea what would work for me, what nourishes my spirituality).

These past four years have seen much change in the way I practice, believe, and have focused most of my life around my spirituality. I have been fortunate in the past two years to have experienced some less pleasant things that have helped me to also keep one foot here and one foot Elsewhere. As much as being depressed and floundering for over a year sucked, it was incredibly transformative, and I have begun to see where my road could be leading for future endeavours.

I thank my Gods and Spirits for sticking with me through it, and helping to show me things along the way so that when I look back at it now, I see the grander picture, where it was all leading me towards.

She Moved Through The Fair

What’s this? I’ve sung again? I thought I’d sing a love song, and since it’s the season of the Dead, it’s a sad one.

I thought I’d do a song before I begin NaNoWriMo on Friday. What’s NaNoWriMo? If you don’t know already, It’s National Novel Writing Month. I’ve been itching to write a story or two for some time now, and I’m feeling pushed. Writing has never been my thing, I have some pretty great ideas for stories, but I am a singer, my creativity has always come out best that way.

However, with all the hoo-haa of this year, lots of things have been changing or coming to light for me. That, and it’s a bit of a dedication to my Lady, considering what the topic is and all. I may or may not try to do something with it after I go back and edit and whatnot, but who knows!?

So if you are Wrimo-ing this year, add me as a writing buddy! I’m under the same name there, Miaerowyn.

 

While things have been quiet around here for a little while (for reasons), they will continue to be so during November while I furiously type away. I may or may not write about what’s been going on, I haven’t decided yet. Suffice it to say, this past year has had me deep in Shadow work. Most of the time I’m ok with the fact that I’ve been in darkness, just because I know eventually I will be able to really appreciate the happy times more, that I will be stronger, and more focused. I also know there’s a lot of learning and work in this, but that definitely does not make it any easier. I suppose after Who came to me last year, I’m not surprised everything has changed.
I’ll leave it at that for now, I’ve got a curry dinner to make. Hope all is well for you out there, this season.

Hail to those who have passed this year, Hail to the Ancestors, and Hail to the Gods!

Pagan Blog Project – Q is for the Quill

IlluminatedManuscript

Q seems to be a letter of communication for me, as it has again brought me a subject that requires words. Writing is a most important human development, allowing for our ancestors to speak to us through the ages, so long as their etchings have not been destroyed with time, or by others.

The act of writing, especially on paper, forces us to slow our minds, slow our thoughts, and ensures we take the time to write out what we really mean. This is part of the reason why I journal in a paper and pen way, as well as write out rituals or spells. I don’t want to rush through the processes, and as far as ritual or spellwork, I don’t want to be able to easily Google something and copy and paste. That doesn’t make for good magic, even if I do put a lot of effort into the act of it.  Finding your own words, your own rhythms, adds another layer to your magic weaving as you take out the time to focus on the precise words that convey the thing that you would make manifest.

The other part I adore about writing with pen and paper is the fact that it’s meditative, introspective; the movements of the pen soothing. It allows for me to let out ick energies, running from my mind, through my head, neck, arm, hand, fingers, and through the tip of a pen. I send out the jumbled thoughts in my head, where I can re-read it later and sort it out. I can realize that I don’t really feel the way I did in that moment, or that I don’t want to feel that particular way, so I get to think about it, look at it from a different perspective, and change it.

Elemental Magic(k) – Air

Elemental magic(k) is a basic sort of magic(k) that is easier to learn if you are new on the path because of the focus on the elements, and easier to work with if you’ve been on the path for a while and you are in need of something really quick in an emergency as we generally familiarize ourselves with the properties of each element fairly early on in the magic(k)al learning process. This sort of magick makes for a good basis to work more elaborate magic(k)s down the road. Of course, you can make quite elaborate spellwork calling upon more than one element, and more than a few correspondences.

Air is the element of the East (or South, depending on your tradition), Spring, the soul, creativity, the mind and communication. When you feel as though your mind is stagnant, your focus strained, your creativity has run out and you are surrounded by miscommunications, petitioning and working with this element is a definite must.

Herbal/Oil/Incense Associations:
Agrimony, Butchers Broom, Caraway, Red Clover, Dandelion, Eucalyptus, Hops, Lavender, Lemongrass, Lily of the Valley, Linden, Mace, Meadowsweet, Mistletoe, Sage, Slippery Elm, Star Anise, Pine.

Stone Associations:
Aventurine, Azurite, Mottled Jasper, Celestite, Kyanite, Mica, Pumice

Elemental Beings:
Sylphes: wish, dream and knowledge granters; rulers of weather; protectors of magic(k); beings who fly.

Animals:
Birds, flying insects, dragons, flying horses.

Tarot:
The suit of Swords (although when not reading, I feel that Swords should be fire as they are made in fire); The Magician; Justice; Wheel of Fortune; Temperance; The Star.

Gods:
Zeus, Hera, Uranus, Chaos, Amun, Horus, Nut, Shu, Latobius, Caillech, Arianrhod, Thor.

Magic(k)al Workings:
Communication, knowledge, ideas, education, creativity, freedom, travel, writing skills, meditation, divination, visualization.

Bleh

Sorry for the lack of postings! Applying for post secondary education is one of the most frustrating things I’ve had to go through yet! Is it always this bad for everyone? Jeez.

Anywho, I suppose that the new school year is coming up quick as well, which will mean that there will be a smaller amount of postings going up each week as school work will dominate a whole big chunk of my time, lol, at least I’m assuming it will. Who knows? Lol. (If you do know, please let me know, that way I can be one who knows, 😉 )

I plan to keep posting at least once a week as I do enjoy blogging, and perhaps after getting into academic writing at school, my posts will be better, haha! 😉

Thank you all for reading 🙂