Making all the art

The inspiration bug has bitten hard over here. Not only for paintings, but I’m feeling the need to make music wash over me again. I’m focusing more on the paintings at the moment, but I have been recording snippets of melody and even lyrics now and again.

It’s funny that I used to think I SHOULD only focus on one or two things, and now I’m like, YAAAASSS, all the things, all the time. I’ve even been planning a couple different meads. ¬†And also (see I told you I just wanna do all the things), I’ve been feeling a very strong pull back into witchcraft, which has fallen very far off to the side in the past few years.
I suppose now’s the time to do things since once the holiday buying season ramps up, I’m not going to have time for anything at all.

But let’s talk about the paintings because I haven’t shared them with you here yet. I currently have 4 that have been printed and are ready to ship when I get the proper¬†sleeves for them, they’re my Elemental Goddesses.

 

Even though I wanted to start putting these up in the shop earlier, turns out I didn’t plan for the extra matting around the prints, and now I have improper sized plastic sleeves to ship the prints in. Sigh.

The reason why I’m waiting to fix that issue is that I am currently in preparations for my first craft market next month, so I’m waiting for funds to be replenished first. However, I’m excited to see what a market is like on the selling side of things!

Lastly, I just finished Her last night, is my Star Goddess. I really loved painting Her, and I think when I order prints, I’m setting one aside for my own wall. Also, nebulas are so fun to paint!

Inspiration

So the first two days of writing for NaNoWriMo are over (actually, I could still want to write later, though I don’t want to burn myself out). Today is also a “longer” day, cuz of daylight savings, you know. Anyway, it’s been pretty great. I have written just about 5000 words today alone (I also wanted to catch up since I didn’t meet yesterday’s goal since we had a family thing).

I love the beginning of things, I am a good starter of projects. My problem is when I’m just over half way through and things seem to dry up and become a slog for me. The well can’t always be full, and that’s fine. And sometimes we also need breaks, which is also fine. But I do know my patterns, that’s for sure, they have become increasingly clear over the last few years, especially as my memory has gone to crap. Ah well… I always endeavour to do better, and am not too harsh on myself if I take longer than I would like.

But back to happy writing things, I am really enjoying writing this. I still have to get a better hold of who my main characters are, who I want them to be and how they need to interact with each other, but the other details are coming through nicely. Some new developments have already come about, deeper plot roots, and some not so nice things that will eventually happen.

Needless to say, I feel inspired, and happy to be finally writing the damned story, FINALLY! After all my planning. Perhaps next time (I may do my own “write a novel in a month” periodically, or at least one other time during the year), I will only start planning one month ahead, instead of two.

I’m also not letting myself get caught on things I know don’t sound like I really want them to, and I just keep plugging. It’s a first draft. It’s going to suck in places, probably the better part of it! Especially seeing as I am not usually a teller of my own stories.

The one thing that has made me a little apprehensive is that I am writing about Gods, the main character must work with Them in order to save Midgard and the livelihoods of all beings of the 9 worlds. No she’s not the sole savior, there are others who are like her (I don’t like the sole savior thing). But back to my apprehension, the character of Odin in my story is so far quite different from what I feel most people see him as, but I do know there will be some shifts from time to time to the “Odin” most know and fear. Alas, I’m just going from what it seems He wants to be seen in this, as a character, and as an aspect of Who He can be. Let’s face it, He can be Anyone He wants, He has but to put on the mask.

There will of course be many travels to quite a few of the 9 worlds, magick, and I already know if I enjoy this story enough, it will move beyond the Norse pantheon. This has been quite a different experience from last year’s, and I’m excited to see how well it goes. I want to know this story, all the details I haven’t glimpsed yet.

PBP – The Pause

When it is Dark Enough - Kirsten Bailey

When it is Dark Enough – Kirsten Bailey

I have been mulling over what this lack of music in my life the past few years has meant. As you can imagine, first there was much frustration, feeling of failure, floundering in the “what the hell am I doing with my life” thoughts.

But now I’ve come to a place where I understand this is just a pause. A breather from all the work I’ve put in so far, and while right now, it feels like it has been such a long time, in the grander picture of a whole life and all the years I’ve spent perfecting my craft, it’s not very long at all.

I keep thinking that this is just a good night’s rest after a very long day. Yes, a day of much happiness, and near the end, quite a bit of frustration and some anger, but a long day of hard work. Now it’s just time for rest. I feel as though the pause may be coming to an end as I am feeling more and more a pull growing to get back to my work. However, the pull is not enough to wake me up yet.

And that’s ok.

Just as we experience fallow times needed for rest within our magical/spiritual practices, we experience it everywhere else within our lives. Everything cycles, and I have finally come to a resting period in a 21 year musical journey.

I have a feeling that whilst the music has had a pause, and my spirituality has evolved quite a bit in that time, when I find my voice again, the two will be heavily intertwined. Whether that means I am writing inspired pieces, or searching for operas heavily influenced by the Gods and Their stories, who knows. I am just allowing myself to be open to anything that comes in to move me.

 

As much as this pause has brought me frustration and anger at myself before coming to the conclusions I write about here, I have learned the hard lesson of allowing myself needed rest. Allowing myself to accept that I cannot possibly be working at this for every single moment. So I remain in this pause with more appreciation of it now, enjoying the rest, and beginning to look forward to the day when I begin singing again in earnest.

 

*This post and these thoughts have been quite influenced by Anni’s Greystone Path course. I am so very grateful for what it has brought to me, the realizations and discoveries of myself so far.

Pagan Blog Project – N is for New Perspective

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The last few weeks has been full of preparations to attend the Sunwheel Pagan Arts Fest in Alberta, and helping some friends during an emergency. In the past few weeks of finishing the blanket, I had contemplated selling pagan themed knit blankets online.

The weekend and few days before travelling to the Fest, I had fallen in a terrible dark place that I couldn’t seem to climb out of. Something became clear from it, yet even after that realization, I still was full of despair.

I was hoping for lots of sun in Alberta, and boy did I get it! It was very hot, and the moment you began to move, you broke out in sweat. But I asked for it. The very first night, I walked on glass then fire. Being told to write down something that we wished to walk over through fire, it took me a minute to realize the all encompasing problem I’ve had the past 9 months… fear. It was at first fear of death, which mellowed into just an overall fear.

Well, I walked some of it out over the fire… then I sweat it out over the weekend, enduring the fire of the sun, and the fire of alcohol. As much as I was dreading going the day before, I am so thankful for having gone with some of my trad and coven mates, and making friends with fabulous people.

So, what’s this new perspective? It’s this: I need to sing. I have to drop all of these other ideas of doing something else for a living/career. There’s a reason why nothing else sticks. Being surrounded by amazing and talented people like Chalice and Blade (who also happen to be friends), Heather Dale and Ben, Sharon Knoght and Winter, and Vanessa Cardui along with her posse…. I realized in creating and performing my music in a pagan sphere will give me what I need as a performer (the ability to control my schedule), and as someone who wants a house, a garden, and children one day in the not so distant future.
I’m not going to have to worry about some other prima donna soprano ready to take my place every time I need quiet and home, and having a very difficult time trying to find a spot in an opera when I’m ready to go back in.

Now I’m writing these songs that have broke through the distraction of fear, and researching how to do what needs doing leading up to being a pagan musician.

Hail the Sun!