How I Talk With Gods – Pt. 3

Memories
This aspect is rather important for me. Though it has become increasingly easier to completely immerse myself, and leave doubts behind, in the Otherworld and my experiences over There, my memories help solidify things in an interesting (to me) way.
When I am over There, I often feel like things progress in a wobbly way time-wise. Sometimes things take a while to move forward from one thing to another, it doesn’t feel natural to me, and this would bring about the doubts that it was actually happening, and quite effectively, at least at first, bring me out of the journey.  When I was first journeying, I would eventually think about what had happened a day or two after the actual journey, and realized that when I thought of it again, the memories came as though it was a memory of events that have happened in my physical world, the time lag between actions/events would no longer be there, though I knew they had happened. In fact, sometimes the act of remembering a journey makes it more vivid, more real.
I also realized that I could re-experience it again. This explanation kind of sounds just like what a memory can be like of a physical world expereince, but when I remember some of the first times I went off with Odinn, I’m there again, that moment exists once more for me, the place, the landscape, the trees, the buildings, the wind. I don’t change anything, though I believe I could, but I am there. My memories of phsyical world events never feel like that, and perhaps that is because those are memories of things that happened physically, places and circumstances that cannot happen a second time because we live in a realm where time is much more linear. Spirit worlds are different, and time does not work the same over There. So effectively, my remembering of my journeys makes them real once more, makes them occur again for me.

Thinking of my travels also helps to cut out some of the lag that happens, as I said above, seaming it together into a more natural flow of events, at least for my human sensitivity of timing. I can also step back and see the whole of it, it’s story, whilst still being able to feel everything again, to see all the details again.

What I have found interesting too, is that as I look back on some of my past travels, I can notice new details if I poke around, getting a slightly different perspective since time has passed, and I am not the same person I was when I first experienced the journey.

What does the journeying experience look/sound/feel like?

What I see:
When I go over, I see Baldr first, then wherever we happen to be (again, often forests). There is a moment to see what my spirit eyes can take in of the place, the wall of trees, the depth of the forest and the fading of it the further in the distance I look, or the more trees there are to block my view. Essentially, it’s almost like seeing any given place in real life. You take in the whole of it, then notice details. I notice the kind of trees, the colour of the soil, what time of day it is by looking at the sky, the weather.  Then my focus usually goes solely onto Him as would physical world senses when you are with someone in any given place. I notice what He’s wearing, what His mood seems to be through body language and facial expressions.

Now, as far as facial expressions go. I believe because I don’t have one specific face for Them, I can’t really see Their faces clearly as a whole. I can see the outline of bones, but each facial feature is revealed as the experience progresses, as things happen. I’ll get the image of eyes winking, of a mouth grinning, the wrinkles at the corner of an eye as They laugh, the pull of muscles that round out cheeks, the raising of an eyebrow.  It’s like watching a person in our physical world as you’re talking to them, you notice kind of passively individual movements, individual expressions, individual pieces of a face, pieces of a body as they express what the person is trying to put forth. But, at least for Their faces, instead of those making part of a whole image in your memory you have of the person, all I have are these pieces. And they change as They change Their faces. Sometimes I can see a face more solidly as a whole, other times, it’s just those bits and pieces of expression that don’t want to make a whole.

As far as seeing Their bodies, those are much more anchored, and have basically been the same since meeting Them. They are usually always wearing something different as suits Their moods, but Odinn is tall, muscular yet not body-builder muscular. He can hide it well when He wants, but He usually appears the same size for me. Frija is also tall, long-limbed, Her skin always glows like gold. Baldr is tall, slimmer than His Father, but muscular, and He glows with a whiter, sun-like light. Their hair is always changing along with Their faces. This makes sense as I find that hair is a very important expression of individuality and personality.

I am always aware of the place I am in, though I may not be aware of details again until I look around and focus. It’s rather like memories of moments in our physical world, it is made up of what we remember of who we are with, some of those facial expressions, body language, as well as some innoccuous details like your cat jumping up on the couch, sunlight filtering through very green leaves, or the patter of rain.

I will add here that I am also a product of the time I live in. A lot of the time, I watch myself with Them, in whatever environments, at least usually for the first while. We have so much film and television, and that takes an effect on how we think of ourselves, how we view ourselves in our minds. Even when I think on things that have happened in my physical life, it’s like I’m watching it from the over the shoulder angle filmakers employ all the time. Once I am fairly situated in the Otherworld, I slowly return to first person view, though sometimes I zoom out.

What does it sound like?
Again, I don’t talk much when I’m journeying, so voices don’t factor in much. I hear ambient noises if I focus, just like what I described of focusing on what I see around me above. The sound of the breeze rustling leaves, animals and insects filling the night with their calls.   Despite not much in the word department, there can be non-verbal noises. When I first walked through a group of my female ancestors, there was a sense of humming, of harmonies, dissonances, no real melody, just the buzz of so many voices sounding together..There was even drumming somewhere in the din.

What does it feel like?
Yes! There are definitely almost physical sensations that can happen when journeying for me, even when not journeying (such as hanging out in your living room and it just so happens Baldr’s sitting beside you). Touch is very interesting when we’re talking about touching the Gods, and interacting with the Otherworlds. When I think on it, i believe it is akin to how we feel things here in the physical world, we are never actually touching anything, but with a certain amount of force, molecules next to one another, some from my hand, some from the mug I’m holding, I can feel that pressure in my palm, my fingers, that information sent through my nervous system to my brain. The heat of the mug is fast moving waves, telling me that I should grab the handle. The pressure from the mug lets me know how much tea is left without having o look at it.
I think when it comes to being in a place that isn’t based on what we think of as physical, tangible, hard, it’s like our physics, our motion, but it is energy that is more easily manipulated. We are spirits too, inhabiting fleshly bodies. When we go to a non-physical world, our spirit can experience what our brains interpret as physical sensations.  When I feel something over there, it is almost a combination of the memory of touching something like it with my physical body, but everything also has a different sensation than that of our physical world, there’s a tingling to it… everything vibrates, and everything feels more a part of my spirit body as I interact with it, or with Someone.
It’s kind of like the idea that everythign is connected, yet when I’m over there, that notion is so much more real, tangible and observable; that I am truly connected to everything. Every object or Person flows into me, and I flow into it/Them. Even the places I find myself in. I can feel my own energy reaching out from my feet into the ground, and I can feel the earth reaching into me. I am part of the wind as I feel it caress my skin, swirling my energy around in it, as it moves through me and into me. My spirit body remaining fairly solid, but it acts more as an anchor; my spirit’s energy so fluid, easily combining, sharing with everything and Everyone. That sensation is actually very freeing… perhaps the “muscle memory” of what it is like to not be so solid in everyday life.
In the final installment of this series of posts, I’ll share what it is like dealing with doubts, brain-weasles, learning to trust oneself and the Gods. Along with that, some encouragement to begin your own communication/journeying practices.

How I Talk With Gods – Pt. 2

My Method
Ok, so I’m going to divide this into the talking/hearing communications, and the journeying communications.

Talking With Them
As I said, most of my conversations with what my brain interprets most easily as words, happens when I don’t have enough focus or energy to journey to Them. When I think-talk to Them, I usually have to be in a position where I’m generally not worried or fussing with a physical world thing, such as making dinner, or having to talk with other humans. It is often when I am already deep in reflection about one thing or another. In that state of mind, I am closed off and isolated from humanly contact and interaction.  It’s not hard to think of listening for Them because I’m always thinking about Them anyway.
Now, that being said, there have been times when Baldr will keep on talking to me as my partner speaks to me, commenting on what he says, or continuing what He was saying to me before my partner spoke. I find as time goes on, it’s easier to hear Them with more external stimulation.

My usual course of action, or of relaxation, is as follows to hear Their words and talk with Them:

– no pressing obligations I have to worry about in the next few hours  – do something that does not require too much thought: knitting, cross-stitching, walking, gardening, observing nature, etc.

– ensure the household is comfortable and doesn’t want to interact with me (but this is easily negated if it’s midday, or after everyone is in bed for me)

– music. Now, this may seem a strange one to some, as I am trying to listen, as it were, to the Gods. It’s usually lyric music I know so well that I don’t pay attention to the words anymore, or orchestral/instrumental music I still know fairly well to not be engrossed by it. Music, especially specific artists or genres, puts me in a trance, light, but trance nonetheless, very easily.  Music highly affects my state of mind, always has, as I’m sure it does many people, but I really can lose myself and open up to the infinite when I listen to music… for that matter, even when I sing. But singing doesn’t work so well for this purpose unless I know the music so well, and have been singing for quite a while that I’m lost in it in a physical capacity as well. This takes longer, but it’s definitely more powerful.  When simply listening, sometimes lyrics will pop out at me that I take as what They want me to hear from Them.

– I simply call to Them in my mind, usually waiting a moment or two to feel Their presence before beginning

– I have found it successful to just think-talk with Them. Speaking aloud definitely helps to cement what you are saying, to keep trains of thoughts a little more coherent, and usually when it is very important, I will speak aloud.

Sometimes I don’t hear anything, and I don’t feel any presence. Usually when I want to talk to Baldr, He is around. In fact, I’m not sure He is ever not there… 🙂 Though, sometimes, He doesn’t want to talk. And that’s fine. Often when this happens, it’s because it’s something I don’t need to worry about.

What do Their voices sound like?
For me, it depends on two things.

The first is whether or not I have a lot of mental energy. If I’m really tired, it sounds like my own thoughts’ voice, though the answers are still immediate and complete, and use language the way They individually do.
When the answers come when I am tired, sometimes my own mind likes to try and tack on more than what They say. When that happens, I end up thinking of what else could be added to Their answers, and I catch myself and remember that I’m not supposed to be answering myself, that if I have to think of how to answer it, then I’m making some of it up myself. I swiftly stop the train of thought. When They are answering, the answers are swift and complete and don’t require me to think of the answer; in fact, the answer comes before I can think of what I would imagine the answer would be. Remember, this is only my own experience.
As an aside, it’s weird having conversations in your head when Their words are in your mind’s voice, it’s hard to tell what’s you and what’s Them. It’s also easier to think you’re just crazy and have invented a new person to talk to in your head. This is where music can sometimes help, as lyrics will pop out and confirm something They’ve just said. You can always confirm with your divination tool of choice.

When I do have a lot of mental energy, I can usually hear Their distinct voice. There’s a caveat here, and I’ll explain that next.

The second thing this all depends on is what Face Whoever I’m talking to is deciding to wear. Now, this doesn’t mean I’m “seeing” Them. What this means is that Their faces for the entirety I’ve been hanging out or talking with Them, have collectively never had a permanent visual that stays in my mind of what They look like. It’s always changing. It’s not that it’s because of what role They employ that They want me to focus on, it’s just Their looks, They are always changing. Along with changing faces, is constantly changing voices.

Baldr’s voice has been a smooth tenor to a gruff baritone, and variations thereof. Odinn has morphed in and out of looks, demeanors and voices so many times for me, that there’s too many voices and faces to count. Frija is much the same, though when I just talk with Her, I feel emotions or little glimpses of things more than words.

I’m not sure if the looks/voices fluidity is because I’ve often told Them that even though They could use a face or voice I know, I would like for Them to present Who They really are. I have a thought that this is either Their selves unfolding from what my brain wants to substitute in as more easily recognizable; it could be that the changing is peeling back all my own inputs, for the eventual goal of having one solid visual/sound. Or, I have the feeling it could also be that They are simply fluid in those respects. At least with me. I always know Who I’m with anyhow, though for a while, I believe Odinn was changing how He presented Himself to overlap with Baldr, easing me into meeting Him.

Journeying
And what about journeying? When I’m over There, it’s a much more sensual experience than language. Sight, touch, occasionally smell, and ambient sound. It’s very intimate and personal when I can visit Them instead of just talk, as though They are part of me, or flow through me. It is still very intimate in a different way when I’m actually adventuring a bit with Them. The experiences themselves seem almost an entity in and of themselves, and I am intimate with those experiences, those stories of my own adventures with Them that become every much a part of me and my memories as my physical life’s experiences innately are, and often even more so.

As for my journeying methods, they are much the same as what is stated above, though I am adding a few more points for a more intense/fully in the Otherworld instead of straddling both situation.

– darkness, or little visual stimulation (a lot of this more intense journeying happens before bed)

– music still plays a big role, in fact, it usually plays a bigger role since verbal communication isn’t as important to my journeying as the experience; I become awash and filled with the sounds, the harmonies, the emotions of the music, which helps to take my mind off the physical quite a bit, and usually helps to connect me to wherever it is I’m going

– I do not do anything physical, as touch is a very good way to keep one grounded in our physical world, and lessen the almost physical sensations I can experience in the Otherworlds

– if I am journeying in the middle of the day, I will light incense, but if it’s when people are going to bed, I won’t shock everyone’s noses and keeping them awake, that’s just rude!

– to travel to the otherworld, I used to visualize the world tree, and travel along its wide trunk, finding a door that would take me where I wanted to go (usually to Whoever I wanted to visit so long as it was good with Them). This isn’t necessary anymore for me, it doesn’t take much for me to get where I want to be, I reach up and Baldr reaches down to pull me up to Him almost as soon as I can think that I want to be with Him. It’s almost like being pulled up by the hands out of a pool by someone standing on the edge. Except it looks like I’m coming up from the soil.

There’s not much more required other than that. I usually don’t make too much of a hullabaloo about it because my Gods have been very personal, not formal, with me from the get-go. I do weekly offerings to each of Them anyway, but on special journeying occasions, I will set up circle, or make offerings beforehand.

For the next part, I will be discussing the role that memory plays in my journeying and communications with my Gods, as well as what journeying feels/looks/sounds like for me.

How I Talk With Gods – Pt. 1

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while, though it always seems strange talking about things that are quite personal. But really, I’ve given up on caring what the nay-sayers will say. I’d rather talk about these things and discuss them with those who want to, and perhaps put out there some things that others may be wondering about, letting us all feel a little less lonely, that we’re not as crazy as we like to think we are sometimes. Though I will grant you, talking to Gods and spirits can definitely make it seem like you are going crazy.

I will put the caveat out there that this is only my experience. This is not the only way you can communicate with Gods or spirits, in fact there are likely thousands of different ways through which we can experience Them and communicate with Them.

My Journey

The Beginning
Now, it’s only been nearly four years since I began truly interacting and communicating with any God or spirit. Odinn came in a flash to me one night as I walked from my kitchen to the living room. It was just an image in my head of Him, in armour, hair blowing in the stormy winds, looking right into me. I knew immediately it was Him, though He had two eyes, one embellished by a scar on the lids.

What I kind of marvel at, looking back on it now, was that I immediately knew it was Odinn. I have mentioned before on the blog that preceding this Odinn moment, I had not had much inclination towards the Northern Gods, and I suppose Skyrim likely opened that door for me. Yes, a video game, gotta love pop culture paganism! The Gods use ALL THE TOOLS at Their disposal. The game really allowed me to love the strength in the Northern culture, especially the stories of strong-willed women. Skyrim definitely has its share of strong-willed Nord women, that’s for sure!

At the time, I was dealing with the not so nice thing that was happening which led me into a pretty terrible depression for the next year and a half, perhaps more. It’s a little hazy. This was also the time I had decided I was no longer interested or had enough energy to continue pursuing a degree in music. It was a pretty difficult time because a lot of things were dying for me. And through that whole situation, a very big personal transformation was under way from that point onwards in terms of who I am, and what is important to me. It’s strange-looking back before this point and realizing how different I was.

I think He came to usher it all in, the change in me, and even the way my brain worked (I became very forgetful, which necessitated me doing things RIGHT THIS MINUTE, lest I end up doing nothing ever again). It has actually gotten quite a bit better over this summer (I began writing this post in early June, and there has been a marked improvement since then) which I am very thankful for!

Since then, I had been visiting with Odinn, working through depression and my issues with death, getting to see the connection to my ancestors, and the cultures they were part of. I am so grateful to Him for helping me through this time, as it was definitely a particularly shitty time in my life.  As I believe I’ve mentioned earlier this year, He has taken a step back as Baldr has become number one, so o/Our visits have become less frequent.

With Frija, the communications and experiences have been fewer, but much-needed when I was working through the reality of being female in our current, very misogynistic, culture. This came shortly after depression hit, by a few months or so.  There wasn’t so much adventuring with Her as it was more of a tutelage, discovering the great strength of being a woman, that it is no less than that of any man. I admit that I never really had much reason to either fear death, or feel so helpless or weak as a woman. My mother is the pants-wearer in my immediate family. I never heard from anyone in my life that I couldn’t do what I set my mind to because of being female. Before I realized I was a good singer, I wanted to be a doctor or marine biologist, and that was encouraged. It’s strange the things that put us in a tailspin with no true cause.  It has all definitely made me much more aware of the fact we have a long way to go when it comes to women’s equality and rights in society, not just in law, but in the daily, small, seemingly inconsequential misogyny that happens, that is inherently taught without thought as to its effects.

But that is a topic for another time.  Frija pops in when I need Her, or when there’s something pertinent She wants me to know. I can always look to Her to help me see my worth.

Baldr came when I had already been communicating with His Parents for a while, so it didn’t seem much different. Though somehow I cut myself off for a few months in the spring, thinking I was not ready for some reason, that I had to wait. Interesting that… and strange in retrospect. Baldr has  been the easiest of my relationships with the Gods. Things have been so very comfortable, there doesn’t seem to be anything in particular w/We need to do, as Odinn helped me connect with my Ancestors, as Frija helped me connect with my own power. We just hang out, w/We enjoy each other’s company, laugh at silly things, and generally just have a very relaxed time together.

The Initial Communications

Ok, so what about the communication part of this?

When I finally got around to accepting that I could communicate with Odinn on my own (more because I wasn’t exactly sure what the Hel to do or that I would be fumbling terribly), it took a while to figure out what was going to work for me, and how I would experience it.

First was honing my meditation skills once more, creating a ritual around it in order to get in that proper head space conducive to being open to Them, well, Him. If I hadn’t meditated in a while, it usually took up to a week to get into the meditation groove of being able to focus on emptying everything out that isn’t helpful, and connect with Them.

When I connected with Odinn, it just happened that I end up journeying to Him. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you why this happened fairly quickly for me, but it just did. Perhaps within the first few times of trying to be open to hear Him, I ended up on some interesting adventures with Odinn.

I happen to have a very vivid imagination, very vivid dreams as well, so I suppose that helped. I was also already doing my own inner journey work before Odinn came along, which is where w/We adventured a bit. He was working with the landscape I had already created, creating openings and doorways to what He wanted to show me. I still had the safety of being somewhere, or close to somewhere, that I was already familiar with.

It seems now, I don’t often travel to that first landscape much anymore. I remember quite vividly what has happened there, and I do think of it once in a while, enjoying the views behind my eyelids. I made it, so of course it is somewhere I think is beautiful! Now, my journeys seem to be in a lot of sunlit, starlit, or lantern-lit boreal forests. I don’t think these new places are my own invention any more.

The bulk of my communicating and interacting takes place when I have the solitude to journey, whether it’s before sleep, or while I’m making something (as of writing this, it is my Yule gifts which are coming along quite well!), or out biking or walking. Often I slip into the Otherworld, where I can see Them, and straddle both worlds.

Other times, if too much of my focus is in my mundane world, I will hear Them and feel Their presence. Words seem to come more when I can’t be in the Otherworld, which also happens to be the times I need to talk to Them anyway, to hear words and get more difinitive answers.

In the next post, I will be talking about how I talk to and visit the Gods.

A Month (or two) for Baldr – XXV – A Time He Refused to Help

This topic is interesting. I don’t tend to ask very much from Whomever I work with. Usually it is aid in whatever magic I perform, but that feels more like business than what the relationships I have with Them is like. There’s gebo when I ask for help with my workings, offerings and prayers. Not that there isn’t any of that any other time, because there is, the three of Them have Their days during the week on which They get candles, or incense, sometimes food and drinks.

Ok, ramble-ness aside… the point is I don’t usually ask for much, I just enjoy His company.

I believe I have mentioned it before, but for a while, I was relying heavily on my tarot deck to communicate with Him. He stopped in June. It is only for important confirmations. He has stopped me from relying so heavily upon the deck, and pushed me into relying upon my own “hearing”, “sensing”. He wanted me to trust myself and Him when it comes to communicating with Him.
And that is a hard thing to do.

However, I can see what the benefit is already. My “ears” aren’t always tuned into Him or Them, but when He needs to say something, I get it. Sometimes it comes like a thought, filled with words, sometimes it’s a vision of how He’s reacting, or a vision to just get my focus on Him so that He can let me know what’s up.
It’s still hard to trust in what I experience. I don’t think that goes away, if it only ends up being a very quiet whisper in the background.

Sometimes I pretend that something is more important than it seems so that I can resort to my deck. Yet jumbled up and meaningless replies come out of it.

“The more you trust yourself, the more you’ll hear Me. The more I will simply become a permanent, and nearly, tangible Person in your world.”

Ok, Baldr. I will endeavour. But only because You are worth it.

Listening To Them – TPE

This is a post for The Pagan Experience about deity & the divine.

So here is where I confess a terrible thing, I wasn’t listening to my Gods, namely Baldr. I wasn’t letting Him in. And this turned into Him showing up to someone else who was performing a reading for me (thank you!) being Super Grump.
It’s kind of strange to think of Him as that, seeing how much of what we know from lore sources have painted Him as a glorious, shining ball of light and happiness. However, let us remember in Saxo’s account, He was a fierce warrior who fought to have Nanna. And if you look at that story without the names attached to it, you’ll see the character He played was a bit brazen (or maybe a lot considering He decided He had to have someone else’s intended).
It always makes reminds me that there is no denying He is His father’s son.

So why would He be Super Grump to my poor, lovely reader and therefore at me? Well, I don’t know why exactly I had it in my mind that He was to be interacted with in a distant way, that for some reason there was a waiting period before w/We could interact in much closer proximity as I had been doing so with Odinn, and Frija (to a lesser extent), but I had kept Him at arm’s length. Ok, probably more like, across the street length. In fact, I had also cut myself off from Odinn and Frija (Who both let me know They were not too happy with my distancing as well), doubting that I was allowed to have those close relationships.

Ugh. What is human brain meat!!!!!!

I couldn’t even tell you why I did it. Perhaps things got really real when I got a reading from the lovely Beth back in December? I won’t divulge what was said, but it did kind of shake my world around a bit. Flail happened.
So I think with that reading, all of a sudden, things had to be super serious business. Formal. Restrained.

And I think now, when had things every been like that with Odinn & Frija? Never. There had been some more formal ritual things when I needed to mark something as important, but otherwise, o/Our relationships have been pretty friendly and informal. I would say even almost emphatically informal after I was frustrated and fed up with school, and after the not so nice thing happened. I needed comfort when They came to me, and that’s what I got. They’ve never been distant, ethereal beings to me. Until I tried making Them.

Then Baldr came into the picture and that’s when I got all worked up. And it took Him, the God people like to see as happy-go-lucky, and very shiny, kicking me in the pants to smarten up.

So why am I sharing this with you? Well, because having relationships with Gods can be a hard thing. We can’t physically see Them. Physically touch Them. Hear Them, smell Them, or taste Them. The way we experience pretty much everything in our life is based upon our physical senses.
It is hard to keep focused enough to see Them without our eyes, or hear Them without our ears. It makes the experiences with Them subject to how confident we feel in our non-physical senses, our sanity, and our worthiness at having relationships with any of Them.

Over the past few years, I readily admit questioning my sanity many times. So much of our conditioning (even from a church-going Christian background) is focused on our physical world. But we are not just physical beings. We are souls with bodies for a time. It’s well and good, and sometimes very nice (wink, wink) to be very in the moment and in your body as it feels all the stimuli from our environments: the smell of your favourite dessert baking, soft, warm fur beneath your hands, seeing someone you love in person after a long separation, listening to your favourite music that moves you to joy or tears, a warm breath across your skin in just the right place. These are delicious things. These are good things.

Yet, we also experience the world with our thoughts, who we are as a spirit. And how do you experience a non-physical being when you’re currently trapped in a limited human body? How can you do this reliably without letting yourself think you’re crazy? It is a very difficult thing, very difficult indeed.

What I have done to be open again, is just say to myself “fuck it”. I never worry about what anyone else thinks of me, why should I let conditioned filters that I sometimes let myself see myself through affect me? Why should I care what I think of myself if that thought comes from society’s filter that mystical people are crazy? Even Christians think their mystics are weird. And what difference would it make if I were crazy? Is my spirituality not feeding my soul? Does speaking/being with the Gods not feed my soul?
I suppose part of it could be that old “not worthy”, “feeling good is a sin” that could be surfacing. Well, that notion has never stopped me from having le sex, and lots of it. There’s no shame in that at all for me. I view sex as physical, yes, but so very spiritual as well. It’s something that lets us lose ourselves, become more than just who we are in our limited human bodies, if only for a few moments.
And I ask myself, is that not what my relationships with Them is like in a slightly different, brain-way? Absolutely. I am filled and inspired and awed, and I lose myself in o/Our interactions together because they/They take me somewhere else I couldn’t even imagine (in multiple ways), They teach me things, They’ve helped change my view of the world and my self (not that I had a bad view of either before, but now my view is wider, grander), They’ve made me very aware of the spirits in all things and how much humans have tried to cut Them all out, and I just simply enjoy Their company.
Just as friendships and relationships in real life, relationships with Them are important, fulfilling, and help me become a better person. (There’s also the perk with deity/spirit relationships of learning magickal things as well, thanks, Frija!).

So I got kicked in the metaphorical pants, and here I am, in the thick of it again. It’s beautiful, and I’m inspired. It’s hard to remember to pay attention sometimes to hear Them, to visit with Them, ’cause They can’t just come to us and yell at us outside our windows. We have to make the time to just listen, to let go of doubts, to just be with Them.

It’s a strange thing breaking down all the things society teaches us to conform, to be the same as everyone else. To break that down and build up your self as a whole person, as someone who is not simply the physical and thought, but a spiritual person. Someone who is not afraid to feel (emotionally as well as inspirationally). Someone who feels the rush and tingle of energy flowing through us, sometimes welling up from within us, sometimes coming from something physically un-seeable. Someone who follows that and gives no fucks what anyone else has to say about it.
What a world it would be if everyone followed the deep wisdom that lies in the very hearts of us, connected to everything, to everyone.

I won’t isolate myself from Them. They don’t deserve that, and neither do I.