Emotions – TPE

Now I’m singing “Emotion” in my mind. One of the first songs I found out I have a pretty high range in 🙂

But to the point of this post! Emotion is probably the larger part of the foundation of my magick. Funny thing is that in my everyday life, when shit gets real and dramatic, I usually remain quite detached from what emotions end up coming up from those around me. Even with my family, I seem to have become the one who remains calm in any given situation. The only time I get emotional is when some sort of injustice happens, then I get pissed.

I think perhaps part of me not getting overly emotional is for the most part, I know I cannot control anyone but myself. I cannot make another person or being do anything they don’t want to do. So that means I always factor in being disappointed/annoyed/frustrated/etc. into anything other people do that may involve me (in an immediate or not so immediate way); and with this, I factor in knowing that I can’t really do much about it, so it’s not worth my time to worry over. This is probably why oftentimes I don’t ask for help. I am pretty capable of doing most everything I need done, I pick up skills quickly so even if I have asked someone for something, and they don’t do it in time, I just end up doing it myself.

Again, this is just part of me knowing I cannot control what anyone else does. It’s less of a “people are largely unreliable”, and more of a “if I am capable of doing it, I know I will get it done, and do it the way I want it done”.

But that’s getting a little tangential.

There is a flipside to this, however. I am really easily and heavily affected by media of all sorts. Films, music, art, dance, literature, and yes, video games (which is to me, just highly interactive art). I feel all of that acutely, and it can and does lift me up or fuck me up. I have to be very choosy of what I consume, and it’s become increasingly important for me to surround myself with beautiful/proper mind frame inducing things (hello, Taurus!), and is a large part of my being on Tumblr now too (I follow a lot of people who put up delicious images).
This is also why I choose romance, or sweeping fantasies instead of grittier real-world things. Or, I suppose the things I watch/read have to have an otherworldly taste to it if it is grittier and emotionally messy for me to think, well, this is just a book, it’s just a story. Though really, that doesn’t always work.

So how does this all factor into my magick? Strangely enough, when I feel that well of emotion boiling under the surface, that is when I decide something needs to be done. This could be from situations that have been left to turn rotten for too long, or this could be from those in-the-moment surges. Perhaps this is why I’ve always said that regular ritual isn’t my thing, my power heavily relies upon the emotion being within me to do something with.
And this is where having those things around me that evoke those emotions, and therefore the power in them, has become important. As much as I always want to be reading non-fiction, studying things concerning my spirituality or things I’m interested in, I really need all the arts on a consistent basis in my life in order to access my power. Since I don’t sing much at this point (which had always been a very good way of accessing my power), it’s important to have consistent and regular sources for me to find that.

This means that reading and finding inspiring shows and movies, as well as music and beautiful things to look at is important. It is a constant endeavour, and one that I am happy to do.

Story Weaving Once More

So, the darkness has lifted quite a bit and I’m excited and engaged in things again. If you’ve seen anything from me on Twitter in the last week, you’ll know I’m preparing to give NaNoWriMo another whirl this year (that’s National Novel Writing Month, for those of you who don’t know about it yet).

I’ve spent the last week employing the Snowflake method, albeit a slightly abbreviated version of it, to pre-plan my novel this year. Last year’s was a write by the seat of my pants go, and while I really enjoyed doing it that way, just allowing things to unfold from the pits of my mind, I did end up planning things out as I went along anyway. So I figured I’d try it with a plan in place this time, although it’s not going to be super rigid and allows me some flexibility to play around with some things.

So today, I’ve been making a list of the scenes I’d like to write, and by doing that, I’ve discovered something else that will be unfolding within the story, which I am very happy about. I have to say, how this one is developing, I’m really quite excited to just read the story as I write it. I want to know what is going to happen, I want to see the relationships develop, I want to see how these characters are going to struggle and learn. I just want to know the story already!

I’ll divulge a little and tell you that it’s kind of a blend of fantasy, alternate history, and romance. Gods are involved, and I’ve already got some expansion into more than one pantheon in mind for a subsequent novel. I’m even thinking it may turn into a trilogy, you know, because that’s just what you do, and I can already see where I can take the essential story and expand into a greater and greater view of the world.

Needless to say, I’m anxiously awaiting November to begin so I can dive right into the deep end. I’m also upping the word count I’d like to achieve this year. Last year I did the standard 50,000, and this year, I’d like to up it to 60,000. We shall see what becomes of it!

Pagan Blog Project – J is for finding Joy in the Journey

We spend so much time fantasizing and trying to achieve this end goal, the reason why we’re doing all this stuff that we probably aren’t exactly enjoying, or find difficult, or don’t quite understand, yet are still doing it anyway. Well, you may say, but we need that goal, that image of what we could be on that pedestal to know what we have to be doing to get to that end.
Yes, having something to guide your path, to drive you forward through some of the more unpleasant things is good… But we need to be ok with that end goal changing, evolving, being in constant flux. We need to be ok with the fact that our goals, needs, wants change from day to day. What seems like a fantastic future today, may be trumped by another tomorrow.

You always hear about living in the “now”, of being “present”. I think this is essential, as while you’re working towards your goals that always change, you make the best of what you have right now. Find joy in the things that may seem pointless, boring, tedious, etc., on your path right now, so that you can become the spiritual person you envision in the future.

We need to be actively involved, enveloped, engrossed in the work that is put in now, in order to forge those strong connections through our actions, through our work. See through your inner child’s eyes when you discover something new in your practice, when you experience something you haven’t before. Be that child that would spend hours drawing, or singing, or dancing, all for the sake of doing it, of creating, for the love of it, and for becoming better at it.

In the past few years, all my goals have changed, over and over again. As children we’re asked what we want to be when we grow up, and then we must focus all our energy getting there. Well, we aren’t who we were as children. We become more and more complex as we age, layer upon layer of what it means to be ourselves is added, and brings its own influence. I think the ultimate goal is to just be a better person than we are now. Be a better spiritual person than we are now, adding as we walk along this path. Continue to figure out what is important to us and work with those things.

I think people just need to remember not to hold on too tightly to ideas and fantasies that are just simply not meant for who we are in this lifetime. The Gods will let us know which way to turn as we walk along our paths with Them. Just keep your heart open and They will show you. Be fluid, and enjoy the learning of your true self along the way.