#30DaysMagicalRoots Days 12 & 13

 

Day 12: Deity
Do you work with deities? Why or why not? Are you a monotheist, dualist, polytheist, animist, etc.? Write a poem or prayer dedicated to a deity and give it to Them as an offering. (Bonus: share a poem or prayer you’ve written for one of your deities.)

Yes, yes I do work with deities 🙂 I had always been attracted to deities since finding Wicca way back in the day and learning about the duo of the Lord and Lady. You could call upon Whomever from any pantheon that called to you, which was also so very refreshing for me after wanting so badly to connect with the Christian God (mostly Jesus), and not feeling it, and therefore feeling like there was no other option to experience God.
When I found Wicca, I had this vague notion of what the God and Goddess were, even outside of choosing ancient deities to match my intent for whatever ritual, I knew that They were something bigger, and something else as well. I think I hold a lot of beliefs about what Gods are all at once, some of them a cognitive dissonance.

Though I primarily have a relationship with Baldr, I also work with Freyja, Odinn, and Queen Maeve. So in this way, I am polytheist. I see them as their own separate persons, separate personalities, and not usually part of a “whole”, or as an archetype. I see the Gods as people who exist outside of time, and perhaps even of a different universe.

And yet… I can see how everything is connected. Even I am connected to Them, They are me, and I am Them, we are all everything, which makes me a bit of a panentheist as well. This means that I do see Them in other deities, that there’s some overlap, that perhaps there’s even an over-spirit that encompasses all qualities. Makes me a bit of a pantheist as well. Recently there’s been an overlap with Baldr/Apollon/a story character who shall remain nameless.

I am certainly an animist. Every creature, every living thing, the earth, the water, it’s all alive and holds spirit. I have become so much more attuned to the fact that though an animal cannot hold a verbal conversation with me, does not mean they are not a person or have sense of self. Does not mean that I cannot connect with them on a spiritual level, an emotional level: we are all connected.

The theme here is connection, it seems! Though we like to think of ourselves as separate, individual, ultimately, I think we are all just a huge cuddle pile with the universe ❤

A Thousand Lives
A thousand lives I have lived with You
Each a thread that yet pulls me to You
Each a forgotten flash of a life
Each, but for a single beam of light

Our hearts call out over eons
Through tragedy
Through joy
Through absence

But always you will find me
Or I shall find you
Your radiant light outlasting all stars
All time

 

Day 13: Stone/Crystal
Find a stone or crystal to work with. Learn about its energies and/or magical properties and find ways to incorporate it into your life over the next month. (Recommended Resource: Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Crystal, Gem & Metal Magic or The Crystal Bible by Judy Hall)

I’m choosing simple clear quartz as my stone this month.

Over the past few years, I’ve had a lot of emotional numbing that I recognize has stemmed from not being creative with music anymore, especially since it’s a performance art. That as well as a big bout of depression that still has its repercussions even 3 years later.

I would like to work with clear quartz to balance my emotions, to turn up the joy I allow myself to feel instead of pretending to not be impressed; then to equalize the negative ones that are valid, but not necessarily useful.

I’m thinking now perhaps in more than the ways I’ve already noticed, the whole half of my late twenties was a good stopping point to sort of cut me off from caring about what this weird society thinks, and forge my own path forward spiritually as well as just everyday life. So I would like clear quartz to help me begin really caring about the things that are actually important to me again.

And again, you can find the challenge over at Plentiful Earth ❤

YouTube Pagan Challenge – Week 8

The one where I talk about my Gods, and yes, there’s a bit of waffling here because I was kind of all over the place this morning, thinking about other things too 😛

Thor Tea

Thor

A yummy tea for the God of Thunder!
Black tea, peppermint, spearmint and Belgian milk chocolate steep together to make a delicious tea to share with Thor.

Black tea and chocolate provide a sweet, earthy, and warm base for the mints to float upon, reminding you of that storm on the horizon.

Have a looksee at Thor’s tea, or browse more devotional teas here!

EEEEE!!! The Wait Is Over!!!! (Mostly Because I’m Impatient)

I want to introduce you to my new products I’m offering in my shop now!! As of now, there are only the two up; I was going to wait until I could get up a goodly amount… but I’m just too damn impatient to wait!! I just want to share them with you!

Baldr

I’m making tea inspired by and for our Gods, as well as whatever tickles my fancy (seasonal/holidays/pop culture paganism/stories).

The Deity teas are meant to be shared with your Gods, simply offered to them, or just to enjoy as you think on Their many adventures and lessons.

This Baldr tea is a delicious chamomile base, with orange, lavender and allspice. It’s like walking in a summer meadow.

Odinn

And an Odinn tea! Minty, spicy, and earthy. It’s like a cool walk on blustery cliffs as you sip on a thermos full of hot tea. A blend of peppermint, spearmint, juniper berries and white pepper.

I was meant to have a Frigg tea up as well, but I ran out of dehydrated apples, so am waiting on them to be finished drying at the moment.
My plans are to flesh out the Norse side of things, as well as some for holidays (and by that, I do mean Yule right now, but there will be teas for the other Sabbats), witchier teas for divining or journeying to Otherworlds, and teas inspired by fantastical worlds from books and movies. There will be some pop culture pagan themed teas to be had as well as our historical Gods/myths.

I’m so excited! I hope you are too, and keep an eye out on my shop for more tea!!!

❤

Listening To Them – TPE

This is a post for The Pagan Experience about deity & the divine.

So here is where I confess a terrible thing, I wasn’t listening to my Gods, namely Baldr. I wasn’t letting Him in. And this turned into Him showing up to someone else who was performing a reading for me (thank you!) being Super Grump.
It’s kind of strange to think of Him as that, seeing how much of what we know from lore sources have painted Him as a glorious, shining ball of light and happiness. However, let us remember in Saxo’s account, He was a fierce warrior who fought to have Nanna. And if you look at that story without the names attached to it, you’ll see the character He played was a bit brazen (or maybe a lot considering He decided He had to have someone else’s intended).
It always makes reminds me that there is no denying He is His father’s son.

So why would He be Super Grump to my poor, lovely reader and therefore at me? Well, I don’t know why exactly I had it in my mind that He was to be interacted with in a distant way, that for some reason there was a waiting period before w/We could interact in much closer proximity as I had been doing so with Odinn, and Frija (to a lesser extent), but I had kept Him at arm’s length. Ok, probably more like, across the street length. In fact, I had also cut myself off from Odinn and Frija (Who both let me know They were not too happy with my distancing as well), doubting that I was allowed to have those close relationships.

Ugh. What is human brain meat!!!!!!

I couldn’t even tell you why I did it. Perhaps things got really real when I got a reading from the lovely Beth back in December? I won’t divulge what was said, but it did kind of shake my world around a bit. Flail happened.
So I think with that reading, all of a sudden, things had to be super serious business. Formal. Restrained.

And I think now, when had things every been like that with Odinn & Frija? Never. There had been some more formal ritual things when I needed to mark something as important, but otherwise, o/Our relationships have been pretty friendly and informal. I would say even almost emphatically informal after I was frustrated and fed up with school, and after the not so nice thing happened. I needed comfort when They came to me, and that’s what I got. They’ve never been distant, ethereal beings to me. Until I tried making Them.

Then Baldr came into the picture and that’s when I got all worked up. And it took Him, the God people like to see as happy-go-lucky, and very shiny, kicking me in the pants to smarten up.

So why am I sharing this with you? Well, because having relationships with Gods can be a hard thing. We can’t physically see Them. Physically touch Them. Hear Them, smell Them, or taste Them. The way we experience pretty much everything in our life is based upon our physical senses.
It is hard to keep focused enough to see Them without our eyes, or hear Them without our ears. It makes the experiences with Them subject to how confident we feel in our non-physical senses, our sanity, and our worthiness at having relationships with any of Them.

Over the past few years, I readily admit questioning my sanity many times. So much of our conditioning (even from a church-going Christian background) is focused on our physical world. But we are not just physical beings. We are souls with bodies for a time. It’s well and good, and sometimes very nice (wink, wink) to be very in the moment and in your body as it feels all the stimuli from our environments: the smell of your favourite dessert baking, soft, warm fur beneath your hands, seeing someone you love in person after a long separation, listening to your favourite music that moves you to joy or tears, a warm breath across your skin in just the right place. These are delicious things. These are good things.

Yet, we also experience the world with our thoughts, who we are as a spirit. And how do you experience a non-physical being when you’re currently trapped in a limited human body? How can you do this reliably without letting yourself think you’re crazy? It is a very difficult thing, very difficult indeed.

What I have done to be open again, is just say to myself “fuck it”. I never worry about what anyone else thinks of me, why should I let conditioned filters that I sometimes let myself see myself through affect me? Why should I care what I think of myself if that thought comes from society’s filter that mystical people are crazy? Even Christians think their mystics are weird. And what difference would it make if I were crazy? Is my spirituality not feeding my soul? Does speaking/being with the Gods not feed my soul?
I suppose part of it could be that old “not worthy”, “feeling good is a sin” that could be surfacing. Well, that notion has never stopped me from having le sex, and lots of it. There’s no shame in that at all for me. I view sex as physical, yes, but so very spiritual as well. It’s something that lets us lose ourselves, become more than just who we are in our limited human bodies, if only for a few moments.
And I ask myself, is that not what my relationships with Them is like in a slightly different, brain-way? Absolutely. I am filled and inspired and awed, and I lose myself in o/Our interactions together because they/They take me somewhere else I couldn’t even imagine (in multiple ways), They teach me things, They’ve helped change my view of the world and my self (not that I had a bad view of either before, but now my view is wider, grander), They’ve made me very aware of the spirits in all things and how much humans have tried to cut Them all out, and I just simply enjoy Their company.
Just as friendships and relationships in real life, relationships with Them are important, fulfilling, and help me become a better person. (There’s also the perk with deity/spirit relationships of learning magickal things as well, thanks, Frija!).

So I got kicked in the metaphorical pants, and here I am, in the thick of it again. It’s beautiful, and I’m inspired. It’s hard to remember to pay attention sometimes to hear Them, to visit with Them, ’cause They can’t just come to us and yell at us outside our windows. We have to make the time to just listen, to let go of doubts, to just be with Them.

It’s a strange thing breaking down all the things society teaches us to conform, to be the same as everyone else. To break that down and build up your self as a whole person, as someone who is not simply the physical and thought, but a spiritual person. Someone who is not afraid to feel (emotionally as well as inspirationally). Someone who feels the rush and tingle of energy flowing through us, sometimes welling up from within us, sometimes coming from something physically un-seeable. Someone who follows that and gives no fucks what anyone else has to say about it.
What a world it would be if everyone followed the deep wisdom that lies in the very hearts of us, connected to everything, to everyone.

I won’t isolate myself from Them. They don’t deserve that, and neither do I.

Pagan Blog Project – I is for Intuition

"Intuition" - Bente Hansen

“Intuition” – Bente Hansen

I’m not talking about intuition when it comes to divination, although I’m sure some of what will follow will be related.

No, what I’m talking about here is the intuition that is needed when you have relationships with deities, ancestors, and spirits in general. When you first begin on this path, no matter what path you call it, it can seem disheartening when you don’t receive straightforward answers, or even an answer at all from the Gods you worship, or the ancestors you honour. Ours is not the easy path.

For myself, I believe that for a long time, I had been blocking off communication, in both the ways of not allowing it to penetrate whatever walls I had put up, and in ignoring it when I did fleetingly have it come through. I think a lot of us do this, until we cannot possibly ignore the things our Gods and spirits are trying to tell us. And I think many of us do this because we are not yet ready for the kind of experiences and relationships that are in store for us if we bide our time in becoming the spiritual person we hope to be.

Another reason why I will say I know why people can’t connect as readily is because we live in the age of information. There are so many blogs and books out there giving us information that applies to ONE PERSON, or at the very least is regurgitated, and still applies to that original person who wrote the base material. We are all different, our minds work in different ways, we learn things differently than others… why would the Gods and spirits come to us in the exact same manners and interact in the exact same fashions as with every other worshiper? When we do eventually sit down to practice what we’ve read extensively (and too much) about, all we can do is allow our minds to impose these specific ideas of how this is supposed to happen.

While I will not discredit research and reading others’ blogs and talking to others on a similar path to yours for the sake of community and that lovely feeling of validation that what we do is very real, that it’s not wrong (or insert whatever obstacle that’s been in your way concerning your spirituality), sometimes we need to just be silent.

Do not take in more information about other peoples’ experiences, and experience it for yourself. I can say be prepared for appearances that will very much take you off guard, but there is no real way to prepare for that. Also, if the Gods choose not to answer you, then that is ok too. You can be a devotee, emanating the values and traits that drew you to your Gods; not all of us are meant to work directly with Them. But this is a topic for another time.

Back on topic, I can’t stress enough how important it is to meditate. Ritual purification has always been important, but it’s not just physical purification that is required. We need to clean out the cobwebs in our minds. We need to be able to either maintain a very clear of thought mind space, or at least be able to not pay attention to thoughts that happen. If we are constantly full of our thoughts, our questions, our doubts, our expectations, then there is not enough room for what They would have us know. This skill takes time. Some of us are more naturally able to clear out our minds, others are not, and that is ok. What we do is not meant for everyone to be able to do. Not all wish to devote much of their time to this. Ours is not the easy path.

When you feel you have received some sort of communication with a Deity, it’s ok to ask for some clarification from others, but I would suggest pondering upon it yourself, do not reveal all the details as this message was for you, and other people’s views of things could blur what the truth of the message is. Other people will find meanings in the imagery that are connected to their own life experiences and spiritual experiences. You need to apply your own experiences and meanings to your message yourself to really understand what They would have you know.

Intuition is a powerful tool in regards to communicating with all spirits and Deities. It may take quite some time to develop the skills, and in most cases, we’re really not ready when we really want to be. We must work hard, and realize that for some, we’re not meant for that type of devotion, and it is OK.