A Month (or two) for Baldr – XXV – A Time He Refused to Help

This topic is interesting. I don’t tend to ask very much from Whomever I work with. Usually it is aid in whatever magic I perform, but that feels more like business than what the relationships I have with Them is like. There’s gebo when I ask for help with my workings, offerings and prayers. Not that there isn’t any of that any other time, because there is, the three of Them have Their days during the week on which They get candles, or incense, sometimes food and drinks.

Ok, ramble-ness aside… the point is I don’t usually ask for much, I just enjoy His company.

I believe I have mentioned it before, but for a while, I was relying heavily on my tarot deck to communicate with Him. He stopped in June. It is only for important confirmations. He has stopped me from relying so heavily upon the deck, and pushed me into relying upon my own “hearing”, “sensing”. He wanted me to trust myself and Him when it comes to communicating with Him.
And that is a hard thing to do.

However, I can see what the benefit is already. My “ears” aren’t always tuned into Him or Them, but when He needs to say something, I get it. Sometimes it comes like a thought, filled with words, sometimes it’s a vision of how He’s reacting, or a vision to just get my focus on Him so that He can let me know what’s up.
It’s still hard to trust in what I experience. I don’t think that goes away, if it only ends up being a very quiet whisper in the background.

Sometimes I pretend that something is more important than it seems so that I can resort to my deck. Yet jumbled up and meaningless replies come out of it.

“The more you trust yourself, the more you’ll hear Me. The more I will simply become a permanent, and nearly, tangible Person in your world.”

Ok, Baldr. I will endeavour. But only because You are worth it.

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