“How – How did you become involved with your devotional topic?”
I have already discussed this way back in January (where the Hel is this year going???!!!). So I won’t actually be addressing the How w/We got involved, but I will be talking about how our path together has been since January. (Seriously, first half of 2015, where did you go!!!)
So it’s been 5 months, I actually figured I’d have talked more about it, and yet, I know myself, and I know that I don’t enjoy talking about things that are very close and important to me until certain situations have passed so that I’m more detatched from the emotion of it all. It’s more a tactic to feel less vulnerable, I suppose.
Anyway, I want to start this off with the fact that I get in my own damn way. Yep. I was doing just fine talking with Him, mostly through tarot (though I did journey to Him a few times), and then for some silly reason or other, I decided that I “wasn’t ready” in some way, that I was to distance myself from Him. Don’t ask me why, I couldn’t even tell you. There was no actual reason between the two of u/Us, but my own feeling of being unfit, of having to wait till the right time (whenever the Hel that was supposed to be). This happened around Ostara, so for a few months, things had been more distant between u/Us for no actual legitimate reason.
Now, don’t worry, I’m not actually that down on myself about it, it happens, it’s human to feel inadequate, and it often hinders us from doing the things we ought to, or which would really benefit us.
So to sum that up, I’ve effectively been keeping u/Us from really building o/Our relationship up.
What has also happened is that I’ve been Told to stop using my Tarot to communicate, that I can hear Him and the rest of Them just fine. Yes, They allow for confirmation every once in a while, especially on the things that are important, but for the most part, I’m being pushed to rely on my spirit ears. This was made abundantly clear when conversations through the cards would be terribly contradictory and made absolutely no sense at all.
While I am enjoying that all I need is to listen to communicate with Him, at the same time, I still feel like I’m not ready for that, that I’m just talking to myself in my head. There’s a strange detatchment that comes about though when I do chat with Him, in that I am to take it for what it is. A system is coming into place to ensure that what I hear and see is not just my own mind going wild. I’ve got to say, I’m flabberghasted that it has all been so very clear. I’ve actually been working on a post about how I communicate with Them, which will hopefully be going up soon, so I will definitely elaborate more there on how I keep it all in check.
I have to say here too, even though this isn’t a Baldr thing (though He’s telling me He did have a hand in it), that I owe my gratitude to Thor for popping up a while ago. As I said in my post about Him showing up, it was all about DOING. Which has kind of become an awesome mantra. Just do the things. I have to say, I’ve been much happier for it, happier in a sense of accomplishment, and happier in a sense that I am also building up the connections with my Gods, as well as the magic that surrounds me. Obviously this also goes into the more mundane aspects of my life as well.
After all of the DOING, I also got a check in reading from Beth for Midsummer, and though I won’t go into detail, it just allowed me to see that I can’t be cutting myself off from Him anymore. Also, her readings are amazing ❤ ❤ ❤
Here I am now, doing, still even! And listening to Baldr. It’s been good. 🙂