Well hello there! It’s been a while. Well, come on in and let’s chat!
There are some changes on the wind… my man and I are going to be starting a YouTube news channel!! I’ll be updating links and such when we begin, which is hopefully next week. Unfortunately, it won’t really be pagan bent, but that’s what I have this blog for!
In other news, I am getting over a cold… yes, a cold… in July. Oh well! I have the luxury of resting and staying home as home is where I work from! 😉 I am on the mend now, feeling better and less cloudy in the head.
In more magical news… I was reading Sarah’s latest blog post… and I had a realization of my own. I’ve written about this before, but it hasn’t been as clear to me as when I read her blog… Alcohol, nummy, nummy alcohol is my key to connection with the divine. I’m not talking about being incredibly, senselessly drunk… I’m talking about two or three glasses… a warm, happy, and almost always, spiritual tipsy-ness.
I find I struggle with the “doing” bit of this path. I’m a very internal, constantly thinking, observing, analyzing type of person. I do create physical things when inspired… I find that other than the ritual with my coven and trad, the same set up of ritual doesn’t work for me when I’m alone. I suppose some of that has to do with the fact that it’s obviously about the HPs & HP and the group working together to raise up the energies, creating circle. For me though, my energies, my circle is up as soon as I start feeling tipsy. Everything is sacred in that time… the time spent with friends, the time spent with my man, getting frisky. (Considering who my patron Deities are, the friskiness is not a huge surprise!).
Since beginning to make alcohol as well, I feel even more connected to this substance. My home-made meads and ciders make me feel a lot different from what buying the alcohols at the liquor store make me feel. When I buy the liquor, I feel slow, fuzzy; kind of like the lights in my brain are being turned off until it’s empty. With my own alcohol, all the things that worry me fall away, I’m inquisitive, sharp, feel connected to my true inner self and my Gods. I feel as though I am a conduit for Their inspirations to fill and affect the world around me. I offer Dionysus and my Gods my drinks, I burn incense, have deep conversations with my love, weaving the magic that bonds us together.
I am inspired on alcohol, I will usually feel like I need to have ritual, although when I do end up having ritual, it’s still not right. I realize now that for me alone, ritual is not what works for me. I do not feel connected to my Gods when I do it, so why do I keep trying to make it work? Because that’s what I think I’m supposed to do. Even though I am participating in a Wiccan tradition, my personal practice is not so structured, and dare I say, Wiccan. My beliefs generally follow along with Wiccan beliefs, but I cannot pretend that outside of group ritual, the practice of that kind of ritual (mainly) works for me.
I’m not entirely sure spells are my bag either. That’s not the way I make magic. The only spell that’s ever really worked has been the love spell I cast which brought my love and me together. Perhaps then, I realize now, love is where my magic lies. Which, if I think about it, makes too much sense. I wouldn’t say I’m a hopeless romantic, but love, for me, is the greatest purpose.
So there it is… I’m a bit of a Maenad (though definitely not as crazy and drunk, and I won’t be ripping any bulls apart with my hands), structured ritual isn’t my personal bag, and my magic is love.