Ok, so here’s the first prompt: Making Way.
How will I be making way for all the new??
Well, first, cleaning the physical. Although we don’t have a huge apartment, it’s definitely going to be good for it to be thoroughly cleaned, now that I’ve the time. Also… getting rid of stuff we don’t need/use. That one shouldn’t be incredibly difficult as when we moved here, we left A LOT behind, and even of the stuff we left behind, we sold what we could and junked the rest we didn’t need. So, a good house scrubbing will be good. Get rid of all negative energies, put up the wards again, and perhaps do a proper blessing before warding.
Also, I plan on making keeping the house tidy and uncluttered an everyday sort of task. I hate having things thrown just anywhere, collecting dust, etc. That’s not the kind of house I want to live in, much less my home.
And for the emotional/psychological baggage? Self love… that’s a big one. There’s so much pressure to be right and perfect and never fail… when we’re wrong, we’ve failed, and should feel awful, apparently. This is already something I’ve been working on, as there is no way that a human could be infallible. Also, allowing myself to flip flop about ideas and trying new things. I’ve long wanted to be a “famous singer”, it was really hard for me last year to figure out that that was not the lifestyle I wanted (crying fits all the time and the whole bit). There is so much I can do with music, but there is also so much I can do with all my other talents. I just need to allow for all the variety in interests. I need to keep mindful of the fact that I will always be a student as well, continuously learning and making revelations in my life and in widely known or discovered facts. I saw a cute little comic today (which I can’t find again 😦 ) which showed a young girl pressing the grown up button, and voila, she was a grown up. Then she asked the guy welcoming her into adulthood why she didn’t feel different, why she didn’t know everything… he said, that’s because nobody is different, and nobody knows everything. A cute reminder of the fact that what we perceive to be the way things are, usually never actually are. We must take our knowledge from personal experience.
Another biiiiiig, heavy thing in my baggage, is the fear of success. I’ll admit, this is the problem all over my life, not just in spirituality. I have this horrible fear that if I get good at things, and work hard, I will have too many responsibilities tied to it. That I won’t have time for anything else in my life that is important to me. I think what I really need to do is sit down with myself and figure out what are the things that deserve my time and effort most, and what can either be dropped or just very occasional hobbies. I should also allow myself to be flexible (a big, reoccurring theme right now in my life) in the sense that maybe, I might be interested in something for a little while, and then it’s done. Or something that I feel is very important to me right now, is one of the major things I focus on in my life, can possibly not resonate with me later, and allow myself to let it go, to accept the wisdom learned from it, but move on.
That’s an interesting thing about growing up, you either try very hard to fit in the black and white boxes we’re shown while we grow up we’re supposed to fit neatly into and fail horribly, or we can throw that nonsense out the window. Let’s make our own boxes… colourful, full of nooks and crannies, and in the end, not really resembling a box, but our inner selves. There’s 7 billion people in the world, and even only the population in North America alone can’t all fill in the same cookie cutter… there must be differences, there must be creative thought, minds very unlike our own, otherwise, we would never experience anything new, no new art, no new sciences, no new ways of thinking about the universe.
Making my own box is much easier said than done, but I feel as though it definitely is not a perfectly square thing anymore… and being a Pagan and a Witch, there really is no black and white to me. There is no way that a person’s thoughts or actions are one hundred percent evil/wrong or one hundred percent good/right. We are shaped by how we handle the situations our current lives has put us in, our personalities just a reflection of how we chose to react to those situations, and continue to act.